Sleep where are you..I miss you dearly!

Although it is getting much easier there are nights and weeks that go smoother than others. Since the Zantac Austin is feeling much much better but we have since moved the boys into our room using an arms reach co-sleeper and I am afraid bad habits are forming for Austin who only wants to sleep on daddy's chest or my arms. Thankfully Jason has been putting himself to sleep since birth. Well tonight I have decided that it is time to migrate the boys back to the crib. I go back to work next week and I am afraid if we don't form good habits right now that we are doomed to have a sleeping baby in our bed until who knows when. Rob and I decided from the beginning that we needed to keep our room and bed fairly kid free so that we can have time to ourselves at night. Its very important to us to have a solid marriage and relationship so some separation from kid and parent is necessary. WOW though there are so many directions to go with raising children and there are no right or wrong answers. Everyone has an opinion and what works for their family does not necessarily work for yours. So I am sorting through friends tips and tricks and will try to get Austin down tonight...eh so again I am facing a long night but I do believe that if we can win this battle now at 7 weeks then we will save ourselves some heartache as they get older...Both boys are smiling now and holding their heads up more on their own. I am in love with being a mommy! We start the next phase next week as I go back full time to work. I know that it is what is best right now but I will miss them so much while I am away. They both have BIG personalities and I look forward to them continuing to grow each and everyday. So I say to them now...I hope that I am doing what is best for you boys its all done with love. OK I need a manual though soon please! This guessing game SUCKS! Oh and I put make up on today for the first time...I missed that face :)

The Check up

I saw doctor Maholland yesterday and I got a clean bill of health...WHOO HOO! I have finally finish the pregnant phase officially. I cannot wait to drink wine in the hot tub. I also got back on the depo shot yesterday. For all you moms out there that have been pregnant multiple times my hat is off to you. I never ever ever want to do that again. Even though the reward is super sweet...the lord knew I couldn't take it so he gave me two at once :)
Life around the Oliver house is not easy right now. Last week was the hardest longest most emotional week of my life. I know now that if Rob and I can make it through twin newborns we are basically invincible. Austin entered cryfest 2011 last Sunday night and it last for 5 nights...crying from 5pm to 2am every night. The only way we could sleep is if he was laying on Robs chest. We both slept on the couch and chair for 3 nights. Thankfully we have the best pediatrician EVER and we got him on baby Zantac. It took a couple days for it to kick in but I do believe that we are over that hurdle. The scars are still fresh though and every night we watch him to see if crazy cry baby will show his face.
I am so exhausted and we are only 5 weeks into the Oliver newborn adventure. I am starting to think that this will last a long time. I have not quite gotten completely back to normal yet...HA what is normal exactly anyway right?

The roller coaster....

Sleep? Who needs sleep? The last few weeks have been a whirl wind of emotions and exhaustion. The family has all left and now Rob and I are trying to figure out the ends and outs of our new life as parents of two boys. I have had my fair share of break downs and I know that Rob has seen his fair share of frustrating moments. The great thing is that we are in this together. Everyday has gotten easier..there are good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day...the boys wouldn't sleep and the crying never stopped. It is hard for me when Rob goes to work during the day because I feel absolutely helpless...but with the bad days there is good too. Today the boys and I took our first drive together. It went without a hitch and gave me confidence that I will get this down. It is still so new going from having no children to having two babies at one time. WOW I have a new found respect for women with multiple children. It truly is a test of your patience. You have to let go of being able to control all situations and let the babies cry sometimes...I mean moms only have two hands.

I love being a mommy! I have never been more proud of my little family. I am more in love with Rob now than ever before. He is the most amazing husband and father. I cannot wait to watch this family grow each and every day. We have had such a long year to get to this point! I cannot imagine life without these two beautiful babies...they have already enriched our lives in ways I cannot describe....

Can I say though that I miss long showers, mascara, sleep and the ability to leave the house at the drop of a hat. I know now what a privilege it was to have all those things for so long. I will cherish them in my memories forever!

Their Arrival

I called my mom on Wednesday September 21st and told her to pack her bags and come up for the weekend. I didn't know why I needed her so much just that I did. I was crying and in pain...more misery than I can describe with words. My mom...bless her heart took that Friday off and drove up to be with me that afternoon. I was trying to make it to my induction date of October 1st but the boys had other plans for me.

Saturday started as a normal and uncomfortable day...a bit too usual for me at 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant with twins....we made plans for dinner and had appetizers for the Oregon game. I cannot even remember who they were playing that day. I just remember around 7 pm that night I didn't feel good...AT ALL...We called my aunt Pam to ask her if it was safe for me to take some pain killers I got from the hospital during my pre-term labor episode. While I was on the phone with her I was sobbing....She told us to go in..,funny my husband made me call the doctor who also told us to go into labor and delivery. So off we went...

My fabulous husband is clueless at this point and I am sure he was not expecting the news that we got shortly upon arrival. My blood pressure was really high and it was determined that I had pre-eclampsia. So I was going to be induced...we are having these babies a week early...TOLD YOU SO :) Just had to throw that in there. They put us into one of the birthing suites and off to the races we went. I remember saying to my mom "I am not ready"...I was scared...poopless! I was mostly scared to get the epidural...who isn't right but I tell you..something happens when you start getting contractions cause when the time came to get the epidural I was ready. Rob was no ready however...He needed some assistance from my mom when the first one didn't go in right and had to be redone...white he went :) After the epidural I feel like everything went fast...I know now that it did not. The epidural was less than amazing...all these women tell me about how awesome it is...uh I must have gotten the Western Family brand because I had this little button that I could push to give me more medicine and I was pushing it every couple minutes from what I can remember. I also remember the anesthesiologist coming in and giving me extra doses at least 5 times...hmph my luck.

The time came when I knew I needed to push...Dr. Mohalland wanted me to deliver in the OR in case anything went wrong and we needed a C-Section. I was not in the OR at this point yet...I was in my suite and I felt this overwhelming need to push. The nurse was screaming for a doctor and I remember them wheeling me done the hall in a frenzy and hitting what felt like every corner, wall and door alone the way...This is happening....CRAP! We get into the OR and everyone is frantic and then oh yeah Austin wasn't ready yet :) As Rob tells it now everyone left...well except for the nurses and us. I swear I was pushing forever....I remember lying there thinking that it would never end and I might not be able to push them out. I remember breaking down crying at one point only to have the doctor yell at me to keep breathing and pushing. Just when I couldn't go any longer out came Austin. I remember thinking I cannot do this again...How will I push out another baby. I couldn't even open my eyes to look at Austin at this point..I needed all my strength for Jason. I started pushing and the doctor yelled for me to stop pushing so hard..THANK GOODNESS! 3 half pushes and out came Jason! I actually looked right at him...what a moment. I will never forget feeling Jason come out...it was like a fish coming out of water...he was kicking and moving about. He was ready to be done with the shared space of my womb. Rob left with the babies and I got cleaned up...On September 25th, 2011 @ 5:05pm Austin was born 5 pounds and 18 inches long and @ 5:15pm Jason was born 5 pounds 2 ounces and 19 inches long. The most amazing thing I have ever done..making two healthy babies.

The boys were born at 35 weeks and 5 days so they were automatically taken to the NICU for observation. Rob went right away. I didn'\t actually see the boys until 10 pm that night. I got to hold Jason while Rob held Austin. They were both returned to our room the next morning only to have Jason taken back to the NICU a few hours later to monitor his blood sugar. We went home two days later happy and healthy....I did it! I gave birth naturally to two healthy twin boys! It was the hardest most amazing experience I will EVER have and I will never forget. I saw the boys the day the embryologist paraded them out in a catheter and put them in my uterus and I saw them as the entered the world as two beautiful boys! People can think whatever they want about fertility treatments...to me this is an absolute miracle.

Dr Halvorsen

Rob and I met with Dr. Halvorsen today for another ultrasound and to find out when he thinks the babies should be delivered. Baby A is weighing in at 4 pounds 9 ounces and Baby B is at 4 pounds 12 ounces. He said everything looked good ...the babies are on the small side but I guess that is to be expected. Hey Boys your mommy is little....the doctor didn't seem worried about the gestational diabetes but more so about the Cholestasis. His recommendation is to deliver the babies between 36 1/2 weeks to 37...but no later. So in about 2 weeks. Honestly I feel like my body is ready now but after hearing the weights it did give me so much more determination to grow these babies a touch more before they join us. I just hope my little body can handle it all. I am carrying around almost 9 1/2 pounds of baby...and my body is screaming in pain over it too. I am getting so nervous about a lot of things...will the babies come earlier...will they be healthy...the time with them before I have to go back to work will be so short...I guess my days of officially worrying have started. I pray everyday that the lord brings these two boys into this world healthy. I feel he has already given us such a blessing with this overall healthy pregnancy and twins too. I am forever grateful that I have gotten the opportunity to experience carrying our children. It has been a long hard road to get to this day....34 weeks and 3 days after a medical miracle from IVF. Thank you all for your support and love. We couldn't be more excited to meet our sons.

Maternity Pictures at 30 weeks

34 weeks and losing steam...

I have officially been on bed rest and away from work for 2 weeks...sounds dreamy right?!?! It has been rough and not in a sarcastic way :) I should have all this energy to write in my blog, finish up the baby room and maybe even pick up a few things from the store but it seems even the simplest task requires a nap or at least a little rest afterwards. I am so used to being independent and taking care of myself that relying on others so much right now is difficult for me to do.
I have to say that with all my appointments and my body growing the way it has that the babies are healthy and growing nicely. Yesterday we got a glimpse of Austins face through ultrasound...not a 3D one or anything but he looked like a baby not an alien. I am really excited to meet the boys that are beating me up from the inside out right now. Even Rob is getting a kick out of watching my stomach. It looks like a wrestling match with elbows and knees flying. A positive note is that my stomach has grown so much that it has officially gone numb....no more pain of them kicking me anymore. As for the hiccups...those were cute for the first couple weeks but now Its just weird having babies hiccup into my pelvis bones. In fact it keeps my up at night..well that and the constant indigestion, bathroom breaks and all around pain every where.
We meet with Dr. Halvorsen, our Perinatal doctor, on Friday morning to get baby weights and have him check on the overall health of the three of us. He is suppose to let us know when he thinks we need to have the babies delivered. Ever since about 30 weeks my doctor has developed a "Deer in the Headlights Look" about him whenever he sees me.....Trust me it has caused some unnecessary emotional break downs on my part. Luckily now that I am so exhausted I could hardly care what he says in the appointments and have decided if I really have concerns I am calling Labor and Delivery directly....no more leaving a message with the nurses station at the doctors office.
Well that is where we are at..a waiting game. Some days I feel like I cannot make it one more day and then others go off without a hitch and I feel these babies will go the whole length...but then I look at my belly and realize HAHA there is no way they can continue to grow a half a pound a week for very much longer....Wish us luck the next couple weeks cause we are going to need it :) Thank you everyone for your thoughts, calls, cards, texts, e-mails and overall support. I might not seem like your doing much but every little bit of encouragement right now goes along way! I think I can I think I can I think I can...........