Sleep? Who needs sleep? The last few weeks have been a whirl wind of emotions and exhaustion. The family has all left and now Rob and I are trying to figure out the ends and outs of our new life as parents of two boys. I have had my fair share of break downs and I know that Rob has seen his fair share of frustrating moments. The great thing is that we are in this together. Everyday has gotten easier..there are good days and bad days. Yesterday was a bad day...the boys wouldn't sleep and the crying never stopped. It is hard for me when Rob goes to work during the day because I feel absolutely helpless...but with the bad days there is good too. Today the boys and I took our first drive together. It went without a hitch and gave me confidence that I will get this down. It is still so new going from having no children to having two babies at one time. WOW I have a new found respect for women with multiple children. It truly is a test of your patience. You have to let go of being able to control all situations and let the babies cry sometimes...I mean moms only have two hands.
I love being a mommy! I have never been more proud of my little family. I am more in love with Rob now than ever before. He is the most amazing husband and father. I cannot wait to watch this family grow each and every day. We have had such a long year to get to this point! I cannot imagine life without these two beautiful babies...they have already enriched our lives in ways I cannot describe....
Can I say though that I miss long showers, mascara, sleep and the ability to leave the house at the drop of a hat. I know now what a privilege it was to have all those things for so long. I will cherish them in my memories forever!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Their Arrival
I called my mom on Wednesday September 21st and told her to pack her bags and come up for the weekend. I didn't know why I needed her so much just that I did. I was crying and in pain...more misery than I can describe with words. My mom...bless her heart took that Friday off and drove up to be with me that afternoon. I was trying to make it to my induction date of October 1st but the boys had other plans for me.
Saturday started as a normal and uncomfortable day...a bit too usual for me at 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant with twins....we made plans for dinner and had appetizers for the Oregon game. I cannot even remember who they were playing that day. I just remember around 7 pm that night I didn't feel good...AT ALL...We called my aunt Pam to ask her if it was safe for me to take some pain killers I got from the hospital during my pre-term labor episode. While I was on the phone with her I was sobbing....She told us to go in..,funny my husband made me call the doctor who also told us to go into labor and delivery. So off we went...
My fabulous husband is clueless at this point and I am sure he was not expecting the news that we got shortly upon arrival. My blood pressure was really high and it was determined that I had pre-eclampsia. So I was going to be induced...we are having these babies a week early...TOLD YOU SO :) Just had to throw that in there. They put us into one of the birthing suites and off to the races we went. I remember saying to my mom "I am not ready"...I was scared...poopless! I was mostly scared to get the epidural...who isn't right but I tell you..something happens when you start getting contractions cause when the time came to get the epidural I was ready. Rob was no ready however...He needed some assistance from my mom when the first one didn't go in right and had to be redone...white he went :) After the epidural I feel like everything went fast...I know now that it did not. The epidural was less than amazing...all these women tell me about how awesome it is...uh I must have gotten the Western Family brand because I had this little button that I could push to give me more medicine and I was pushing it every couple minutes from what I can remember. I also remember the anesthesiologist coming in and giving me extra doses at least 5 times...hmph my luck.
The time came when I knew I needed to push...Dr. Mohalland wanted me to deliver in the OR in case anything went wrong and we needed a C-Section. I was not in the OR at this point yet...I was in my suite and I felt this overwhelming need to push. The nurse was screaming for a doctor and I remember them wheeling me done the hall in a frenzy and hitting what felt like every corner, wall and door alone the way...This is happening....CRAP! We get into the OR and everyone is frantic and then oh yeah Austin wasn't ready yet :) As Rob tells it now everyone left...well except for the nurses and us. I swear I was pushing forever....I remember lying there thinking that it would never end and I might not be able to push them out. I remember breaking down crying at one point only to have the doctor yell at me to keep breathing and pushing. Just when I couldn't go any longer out came Austin. I remember thinking I cannot do this again...How will I push out another baby. I couldn't even open my eyes to look at Austin at this point..I needed all my strength for Jason. I started pushing and the doctor yelled for me to stop pushing so hard..THANK GOODNESS! 3 half pushes and out came Jason! I actually looked right at him...what a moment. I will never forget feeling Jason come out...it was like a fish coming out of water...he was kicking and moving about. He was ready to be done with the shared space of my womb. Rob left with the babies and I got cleaned up...On September 25th, 2011 @ 5:05pm Austin was born 5 pounds and 18 inches long and @ 5:15pm Jason was born 5 pounds 2 ounces and 19 inches long. The most amazing thing I have ever done..making two healthy babies.
The boys were born at 35 weeks and 5 days so they were automatically taken to the NICU for observation. Rob went right away. I didn'\t actually see the boys until 10 pm that night. I got to hold Jason while Rob held Austin. They were both returned to our room the next morning only to have Jason taken back to the NICU a few hours later to monitor his blood sugar. We went home two days later happy and healthy....I did it! I gave birth naturally to two healthy twin boys! It was the hardest most amazing experience I will EVER have and I will never forget. I saw the boys the day the embryologist paraded them out in a catheter and put them in my uterus and I saw them as the entered the world as two beautiful boys! People can think whatever they want about fertility treatments...to me this is an absolute miracle.
Saturday started as a normal and uncomfortable day...a bit too usual for me at 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant with twins....we made plans for dinner and had appetizers for the Oregon game. I cannot even remember who they were playing that day. I just remember around 7 pm that night I didn't feel good...AT ALL...We called my aunt Pam to ask her if it was safe for me to take some pain killers I got from the hospital during my pre-term labor episode. While I was on the phone with her I was sobbing....She told us to go in..,funny my husband made me call the doctor who also told us to go into labor and delivery. So off we went...
My fabulous husband is clueless at this point and I am sure he was not expecting the news that we got shortly upon arrival. My blood pressure was really high and it was determined that I had pre-eclampsia. So I was going to be induced...we are having these babies a week early...TOLD YOU SO :) Just had to throw that in there. They put us into one of the birthing suites and off to the races we went. I remember saying to my mom "I am not ready"...I was scared...poopless! I was mostly scared to get the epidural...who isn't right but I tell you..something happens when you start getting contractions cause when the time came to get the epidural I was ready. Rob was no ready however...He needed some assistance from my mom when the first one didn't go in right and had to be redone...white he went :) After the epidural I feel like everything went fast...I know now that it did not. The epidural was less than amazing...all these women tell me about how awesome it is...uh I must have gotten the Western Family brand because I had this little button that I could push to give me more medicine and I was pushing it every couple minutes from what I can remember. I also remember the anesthesiologist coming in and giving me extra doses at least 5 times...hmph my luck.
The time came when I knew I needed to push...Dr. Mohalland wanted me to deliver in the OR in case anything went wrong and we needed a C-Section. I was not in the OR at this point yet...I was in my suite and I felt this overwhelming need to push. The nurse was screaming for a doctor and I remember them wheeling me done the hall in a frenzy and hitting what felt like every corner, wall and door alone the way...This is happening....CRAP! We get into the OR and everyone is frantic and then oh yeah Austin wasn't ready yet :) As Rob tells it now everyone left...well except for the nurses and us. I swear I was pushing forever....I remember lying there thinking that it would never end and I might not be able to push them out. I remember breaking down crying at one point only to have the doctor yell at me to keep breathing and pushing. Just when I couldn't go any longer out came Austin. I remember thinking I cannot do this again...How will I push out another baby. I couldn't even open my eyes to look at Austin at this point..I needed all my strength for Jason. I started pushing and the doctor yelled for me to stop pushing so hard..THANK GOODNESS! 3 half pushes and out came Jason! I actually looked right at him...what a moment. I will never forget feeling Jason come out...it was like a fish coming out of water...he was kicking and moving about. He was ready to be done with the shared space of my womb. Rob left with the babies and I got cleaned up...On September 25th, 2011 @ 5:05pm Austin was born 5 pounds and 18 inches long and @ 5:15pm Jason was born 5 pounds 2 ounces and 19 inches long. The most amazing thing I have ever done..making two healthy babies.
The boys were born at 35 weeks and 5 days so they were automatically taken to the NICU for observation. Rob went right away. I didn'\t actually see the boys until 10 pm that night. I got to hold Jason while Rob held Austin. They were both returned to our room the next morning only to have Jason taken back to the NICU a few hours later to monitor his blood sugar. We went home two days later happy and healthy....I did it! I gave birth naturally to two healthy twin boys! It was the hardest most amazing experience I will EVER have and I will never forget. I saw the boys the day the embryologist paraded them out in a catheter and put them in my uterus and I saw them as the entered the world as two beautiful boys! People can think whatever they want about fertility treatments...to me this is an absolute miracle.
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